FIX The FOX

In our life, every day we find something, but sometimes that instant discovery just changes the way we interact with life. A similar incident materialized with me that taught me how to develop myself from a planner to an executor. It was appearing as if I had been electrocuted by the crowd and I am that much deep in my thoughts that I am not trying to have a conversation with people. This was one of the hardest times of my life and all that I need to do was to keep myself calm and composed for scrutinizing other buried perplexities of life. But the most amazing thing of this experience was its outcome. It changed my whole concept of bravery, greatness, and pressure.   
Even in 2015, when I recall that incident it makes me terrified and dismayed. That incident has become a tool for instructing my past, present, and future in the code of right and moral behavior. That was just a start of my career as a student; I was recently transferred from a kindergarten school to an elementary school and I was admitted as a fifth-grade student with a lot of expectations and in different predictions. I can still remember those days when I used to be a child who thought of himself as the most sophisticated and smartest child on earth; it’s a different thing that it was just an illusion. This was the time when the whole country was about to celebrate India’s 56th Independence Day and there is an old tradition in my country to hold a massive gathering in city hall, where students from different age groups talk about the history of India and its way to independence. I still embrace this occasion with growing enthusiasm that bridges over my colorful and vibrant childhood memories, to reach me today, as a time to celebrate. It was my understanding of things and subject that put me far ahead of any other student of my age group, and, as a result, I soon became a popular face of my school. Every teacher started admiring me not only because of my grades but also because of my audaciousness. That was the time when I always tried to perceive anything in a way that was far different from others and because of this quality my parents started searching a scientist inside me. Not only my parents but also my teachers were also startled by my discerning performance both at the academic and social level and consequently they selected me for representing our school at the annual Independence Day celebration program.
 Initially, I was feeling honored and blessed, later on I soon realized that it is easy to get recognition but the toughest thing is to preserve that recognition because it can slip any minute as a result of any small mischief. That`s why I started working on my speech in advance. I started spending hours in the library, taking help from teachers and researching about it on the internet, in fact, I started dreaming about India’s independence and me as an orator, holding public gatherings and educating peoples about the circumstances under which we overthrew colonial rule and set a stable democratic government in our country. Everything was going good and I was working with my full potential to get recognized as the best speaker at the city hall. The school was convinced and assured of my success. I was flying high on the wave of success like a newborn baby, who doesn`t know anything about adversity and mishap that runs along with us in our lives. Even my parents were considering that speech as a baptism of my bright future ahead of me. They started suggesting me a lot about my future that was beyond my thinking and imagination, in fact in a sophisticated word we can say that they started persecuting me to grab this opportunity as my full and final goal of life.
Now you can imagine how much mental pressure I was going through at that time to come out with something that I am not able to understand even today. It was the light, not the darkness that started intimidating me and instead of my inadequateness, my perfection became my greatest fear. I started rambling in search of self-confidence and inner strength. All these feelings put an adverse effect on my mind and I started getting confounded and scared about that dreadful day. I do believe that water worth nothing unless there is thirst similarly a man worth nothing unless there is audaciousness. But all these qualities vanished somewhere deep inside me and I was not even trying to retrieve it from my disguised soul. 
With these distressing and horrendous thought in my mind, somehow I managed to prepare for the speech. The night before the assessment day, I became chicken-hearted and my mind started losing even the slight confidence that I was having. At that time, I was considering myself as a goat who is inside the lion`s cage and waiting for the lion to get hungry. My dormancy was gone, my temper was knocked out and my nervousness became the destiny of my thoughts.          
 And finally that day came on which I was going to be witnessed. On the very morning, my speech instructor came to my house for giving the final glittering touch to the most awaited proceeding of our school. We along with my parents and some other family members left our house in the morning for reaching the hall on time. Thereafter in the hall I was approached by my teachers time and again to ensure my preparations and I was unable to give any other reaction rather than a pleasant smile. Smile not always means that a person is happy instead it may mean that he is tired of crying that’s why he is trying to manage. To gain some confidence and endurance, I tried talking with other contestants of the speech, who were much older than me and their age accumulated another fear inside me. Every minute I was trying to make myself strong and hefty by making promises with myself not to think much about the outcome of speech but each and every face of my near and dear ones were making me more upset and annoyed. There only I realized that bravery not in risking yourself rather real bravery is in not caring for getting hurt.
 And finally after a long nerve-racking wait my turn for delivering the speech came and I started approaching stage with lethargic steps and questioning my inner voices about the dramatic situation that was taking me away from my comfort zone and when I reached the stage to deliver my speech I realized, through the little cell of my eyehole as if the trees were smiling at me, the rooftops were crowded with my family who was always staring at me, and the windows were breaking into tears after watching my situation. All these ludicrous, outlandish, and silly approach of thinking made me speechless and, as a result, I was stocked still like a water bottle, which does not allow water to come out of it unless someone opens it up. And within seconds the long-lived belief and speculation that my school was having it on me were blown out like a giant house in a tornado.
It was a great moral experience for me and taught me something that I am still following. Thereafter only I learned that respect is something that can`t be brought to us instead it is something that we have to earn. Moreover, it taught me that respect and greatness are two parentheses that teach us what they are and what they do. To be great, we have to do great and the biggest greatness is to be great when there is no audience to applaud you. Even the most precious thing of planet diamond is nothing more than a lump of coal that did well under pressure. And I think it is hard to become great, harder to remain great, but the hardest one is to remain calm and composed to reach that milestone. If anyone emphasizes the importance of something, then it should not be in its first priority instead he should his own personal style to come out with something that is inherited by god and the only thing we have to do is a search of that inside us.